Thankful Heart

And the Winner is....

2011-03-20T21:11:00.000-07:00

The winner of the FREE copy of "Winning Him Without Words" is

Brooke!!!

Congratluations - I will be sending you an email to get your address so I can send you your copy. And thank you to everyone who entered.
I love being able to give away books and will try to do more in the future. I've read a few really good books recently that have helped me in my marriage journey. I will be posting reviews of those books - and who knows, I may be able to give out some copies of them as well! So stay tuned because God has been inspiring me in many ways regarding my marriage lately and given me the desire to share that inspiration, hope and wisdom with each of you.

I will soon be posting more on covenant marriage as well as other topics that can benefit any marriage, regardless of what stage of the journey you are in. Check back soon.

Also, if you did not make it over to SUM last week to see my post on The Power of a Three Stranded Cord in an Unequal Marriage last Monday I invite you to check it out.

Free Book Giveaway - Winning Him Without Words

2011-03-13T23:00:00.000-07:00

I am so excited today to introduce two very dear friends of mine, Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller. These two women, who have inspired me, encouraged me and prayed with me have just had their first book published - "Winning Him Without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage" and they have been so kind as to provide me with a copy to give away. So keep reading and LEAVE A COMMENT to be entered to win a FREE copy of this amazing book.

Lynn and Dineen have been ministering to women (and men) in spiritually mismatched marriages for quite some time now through their blog Spiritually Unequal Marriage (SUM) and this book is the next step the Lord has for them in doing His work. These two women understand the unique issues faced by those who love the Lord but are not able to share that love with the person they care most about on this earth, their beloved spouses. They know the frustrations, heartache, misunderstanding and lonliness that can accompany these marriages at times because they have lived through it themselves. However, with the help of the Lord they have learned how to not only survive their differences in marriage, but to thrive despite them! And now they are sharing that wisdom and hope with others.

This is not a "miracle-cure" on how to get your spouse saved or how to get them to be everything you've always wanted them to be. Instead, they give practical advice on how to make changes to the one thing you can control in your marriage - yourself - and how to give up the rest to the One who is in control - God! I truly believe there are some wonderful nuggets in this book that would benefit every marriage, whether spiritually mismatched or not.

They have written this book in such as way that as I read it, I felt that I was sitting across the table from an old friend having coffee. It is so obvious while reading that they can relate to exactly what you are experiencing and have walked the same path. They give practical advice on how to put your trust in God, to have hope in what is often a hopeless situation and learn to enjoy and thrive in the present. They are examples of how you don’t have to wait until your husband puts his faith in God before you can truly enjoy your marriage and share a deep and intimate bond with your spouse.

I personally plan to read this book at least once a year as a reminder that God has enabled me to truly love and cherish my beloved husband whether or not he shares my faith in God.

SNEAK PEEK:

Inside this book you'll find 10 Christ-centered keys that will release God's love into your marriage, including:

Commit to Christian community
Dont' save your husband, save yourself
Stay connected to your man
Discover the essentials to love
Believe your marriage is blessed
Trade perfection for authenticity
Pick and choose your battles
Cherish each new season
Put on the armor of God
Pray the most dangerous prayer

Each chapter ends with discovery questions and a prayer to help apply the information to the reader's life in practical and encouraging ways. Also included is advice about raising children in an unequally yoked marriage and a study guide for use in a group setting.

• Know You’re Not Alone: (Lynn) Recognizing that we aren’t the only person living in an unequally yoked marriage is a key aspect to restoring hope. Having Christ in our lives enables us to view our husbands as the wonderful man God created, regardless of your different beliefs.

• Don’t Save Your Husband – Save Yourself: (Lynn) The best thing I ever did was to get out of the way so that Jesus could be Jesus. I relinquished control and turned my man completely over to Christ and an unexpected, peaceful freedom emerged in our marriage.

• Trade Perfection for Authenticity: (Dineen) I came to understand that many of my disappointments had come from expectations I’d placed upon him to fulfill needs he wasn’t even aware of. In the end, all I really accomplished was a heart full of resentment.

• Keep Your Armor On-You’re at War! (Dineen) Instead of putting on the label of martyr in a spiritually mismatched marriage, we need to put on the label of missionaries. We need to think of ourselves as soldiers on the front lines of our marriages.

To learn more about this book please visit their website at http://www.winninghimwithoutwords.com/ where you can find more informaiton about the authors, reviews from others (I'm one of them!) and links to purchase the book.

And don't forget to leave a comment here for a chance to win a FREE copy of the book. But before you do, please take a moment to watch this video of Lynn and Dineen talking about their new book.

http://www.winninghimwithoutwords.com/

Contract vs. Covenant Marriage

2011-03-08T11:40:00.000-08:00

I have a question for you? You don't have to answer aloud, but I would encourage you to really think about it and examine yourself for the answer to this question. If you are married, is your marriage a contract or a covenant? How are you living out your marriage?

I've searched multiple sources for the definition of these two words and the basics come down to this:

Contract - an agreement between two parties, which creates obligations to do or not to do specific things which are outlined in the agreement. Designed to protect each person's interests in the event the other party fails to fulfill his or her obligations.

Covenant - a formal, solemn and binding agreement to engage in or refrain from a specific action.

On the surface these may not seem to be much different from one another, but upon further digging a few things stood out to me. In regards to a contract, the purpose is to protect each person in case the other person does not perform their obligations. Each party goes into the contract looking for specific things from the other party and the contract details out how they will be "made whole" if the other party does not give them what is expected. In other words, both parties go into this agreement looking out for themselves and trying to protect themselves.

A covenant on the other hand has a different purpose. I like the way Tim Alan Gardner states it in his book "Sacred Sex":

A covenant is an agreement made by choice, it's an agreement made by commitment, and it's an agreement that is in no way dependent upon what the other party does.

See the difference? A covenant is a commitment that is made to another party and the actions of the person making the covenant are not dependent upon the other person's actions. Each person is going into the covenant with a commitment to the other person, the focus is on the other person, not themselves. The other characteristic I noted about a covenant is that it is given by one party and the other party chooses whether or not to accept it. However, the acceptance by the second party does not change the commitment of the first party. And the most profound difference I found between a covenant and a contract is that a covenant is to be permanent and irrevocable. Since each party's commitment is not dependent upon the other party's performance, there is nothing that negates the commitment.

An example of a covenant is given to us by Adonai Himself. He has made a covenant with us by giving His Son to redeem us. His side has already been committed and performed. It is now up to us to choose to accept that covenant. If we do not, it does not change what He has already done. He won't revoke what He has done or go back on what He has committed to us, just because we don't accept his offer. Instead He continues to love us and waits patiently for the time when we will accept His offer and repent. At that time He freely gives us His forgiveness and redeems us. Regardless of our acceptance He still loves us and continues to give us the choice. He will not revoke the choice He has laid before us.

Marriage is to be a shadow of the relationship Adonai longs to have with us. He created marriage as a way for a man and a woman to enter into a covenant relationship and become one flesh. Marriage as it was intended by the Creator consists of:

Focus on the needs of our spouse, not on ourselves
Our performance is not based on the performance of our spouse, we can't justify neglecting our commitment based on their behavior. Even if they choose to no longer accept our love and forgiveness, we must still offer it.
Our commitment is permanent and irrevocable (once again, regardless of our spouse's actions)

When the Pharisees tried to trick Yeshua (Jesus) by asking him about divorce he answered them in Matthew 19

"Haven't you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and that he said, 'For this reason a man should leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and the two are to become one flesh'? Thus they are no longer two, but one. So then, no one should split apart what God has joined together."

Unfortunately, our world has muddied the true intention of marriage. Even Webster's dictionary lists as one of the definitions of a contract to be "the act of marriage or an agreement to marry". Our world sees marriage as a contract in which either party can walk away if they deem the other has not performed.

Although different studies show slightly different numbers, most all agree that divorce rates are high - between 40-50% for 1st marriages and even higher for second and third marriages. I truly believe this is due to our society's incorrect views on marriage. Today's world teaches us that marriage is a contract, something that we enter into with certain expectations of our needs/wants being met. When that does not happen we believe we have every right to hold back from fulfilling our commitments since our spouse has not performed theirs to our satisifaction. This leads to a downward spiral where both spouses begin to hold out more and more and become even more self-focused because they see the other spouse as having failed them. In the end this leads to either two people who are legally bound together but despise one another and are filled with bitterness or it leads to divorce.

The Free Dictionary (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/) defines divorce as "a complete or radical severance of closely connected things." If Adonai created marriage to join two flesh to become one, then divorce is a rending or tearing, a complete or radical severance of one flesh! What kind of picture does that leave in your mind?

The Creator's intention for marriage acknowledges that we are human and will fail one another at times. But because we enter into marriage with a focus on the other person, with an irrevocable commitment to them regardless of how they "perform" or if they are even willing to accept our commitment, we are able to look past their actions and offer forgiveness. This is a hard model to follow though and quite honestly goes against our basic human nature which focuses on self. We have to make a conscience effort to look past ourselves, our needs, our hurts and focus on the needs of the other person. It is not natural for us, however it is the only way to truly make a marriage work. To truly become one flesh we must see our spouse as being a part of us and therefore worthy of being forgiven and having their needs met. Quite honestly, I don't believe this can be done without Adonai's Strength (but that is a subject for another post).

So today, I come back to my question. Is your marriage a contract marriage or a covenant marriage? How do you live it out daily? And here is the catch - if, as you answer that question you find yourself looking more to how your spouse treats you and what type of marriage it is based on their actions, or you find yourself justifying your actions based on theirs - then you are living out a contract marriage. If you are truly living out a covenant marriage with your spouse, you will do so, even if they are living out a contract marriage towards you.

Believe me, I know first hand how impossible this seems, but with God all things are possible. And if we are obedient to Him and His purposes, He will give us the strength and discernment to accomplish them. And that is when His blessings in our life and our marraige will begin to flow.

Will I ever sleep again?

2010-10-12T11:57:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, SUM broadcast their second installment for the Intentional Marriage. Dineen led this webcast and did an amazing job. The message was inspiring and encouraging and she introduced us to Mr. Wonderful! Check it out. It is a great message on how to love our husbands just the way they are and how to let go of unrealistic expectations we may have.

One part of the Intentional Marriage is a monthly meme. We are once again giving advice to our younger selves. This month Lynn and Dineen asked us to speak about a quirk or habit of our beloved that has been with him since we first got married and give advice to our younger self regarding this quirk.

I've given this some thought over the last few days and decided that the quirk that I probably could have used the most advice about when we were first married is my beloved's snoring. I know many men snore and I've heard the complaints before and I'm sure there are other men who snore much worse than my husband. However, to give you an idea, we went camping with another couple in Yellowstone one summer when we were first married. We had two small one-man tents that each couple squeezed into. My husband slept diagonally in our tent - head in one corner and feet in the opposite corner. I lay curled up with his back as my pillow. I awoke in the middle of the night to the whispers of my friend.

"Brian, Brian! Wake up. I think there is a bear out there!"

I calmly whispered back to her, "It's okay. It's just Shaun's snoring. We won't have to worry about bears, none will come within miles of us."

I remember early in our marriage asking my father, who worked in a sawmill, if I could take some of his earplugs so I could wear them at night. That at least helped me get to sleep, although they often fell out during the night and then I had a scavenger hunt in the morning trying to find them.

At one point I realized that if he slept on his stomach the snoring was not as bad. I would often wake up and try to get him to roll over. He is very hard to wake up so this often resulted in him still being asleep but fighting me. There were many mornings where he would wake up and ask me if he had been snoring the night before. He could tell because his arm was sore where I had been tugging and pulling (and sometimes hitting, I hate to admit) his arm in my desperate attempt to get him to roll over. One night I remember actually laying on the bed sideways, bracing me feet against his side and holding onto the side of the bed and pushing as hard as I could. That worked temporarily as he stopped snoring as he hit the bedroom floor. But alas, he did not even wake up - only rolled over on the floor and began snoring again!

So...what advice would I give myself? I'm still honestly not sure. I would definitely tell myself not to get so frustrated with him though. I think a part of me often felt like he was doing this on purpose. Crazy I know, but who can fathom the reason of a young bride's mind. I do realize I should have probably done more research to find ways to help him instead of just getting angry with him. As the years have gone by his snoring has actually gotten better for various reasons. And I think a part of me has just gotten used to it as well. Now I actually miss it when he is not sleeping with me, it is almost too quiet.

And after having children, I began snoring myself. He now has begun to get a taste of what I dealt with when we were first married.

But seriously to get back to the point of this meme - regarding this quirk and every quirk of my dear husband - if I could go back and talk to myself on my wedding day I would remind myself to not take myself or life's little annoyances too seriously (Some advice I should probably give to myself right now!). To cherish the little quirks about my husband that annoy me at times because someday I will miss those same things when he is gone. And I have plenty of quirks of my own and I can't expect him to be forgiving of mine if I am not able to look past his. And I would tell myself to invest in some good earplugs that won't fall out.

As I write this I was reminded of something someone shared awhile back on Facebook (I think it may have been Lynn!) and I think now is a good reminder for it. Please take some time and watch this video. Then take some time to appreciate all those little quirks about your beloved that make them who they are, those things that you will one day miss.

Advice to My Younger Self

2010-09-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

Dineen and Lynn just started a new endeavor over at SUM called the Intentional Marriage. I was fortunate to be able to watch their first live broadcast and it was amazing. I'm so excited for this new project. I believe God's fingerprints are all over this and it will bring hope and inspiration to many women and help to bring healing to many marriages.

Each month we viewers will have a chance to participate by doing a meme challenge. This month's challenge was to look back to our wedding day and give our younger selves advice about what we've learned over the past years. It can be humorous, practical or just a positive bit of wisdom that we wished we had known back then.

I just celebrated 15 years of marriage last month to my high school sweetheart. As I look back to my younger self (and I was young - only 20!) I know there are so many many things that I have learned, but the last few days I've found it hard to put these things into words. I wish I could say I've got it all figured out now and that if I had the opportunity to step into a time machine I could tell my younger self everything I need to know to ensure I live happily ever after. But alas, we live in reality, not a fairy tale. And even 15 years later I don't have it all figured out yet. I imagine in 15 more years I may only be slighthly less lost than I am now.

However, as I sit here a few things do come to mind. Things I've learned that I wish I had discovered earlier in order to avoid some pain and heartache - both mine and my husband's.

First, I probably would have waited a bit longer. Heather over at Behind the Scenes gave this advice and I could not agree with her more. I'm not sure that I would not have married my beloved if I had waited a while longer - although I think I still may have. However, more time to get to know each other better would probably have helped us to avoid many obstacles we've dealt with over the years. We were both very young and really did not yet know what we wanted for our lives. We were high school sweethearts and suddenly found ourselves in a long distance relationship when my beloved went to Arizona for school, while I stayed behind in Washington State. I had alot of insecurities back then that I've just started to work through recently. Those same insecurities I believe caused me to rush into a marriage that most likely would have benefited from knowing one another a bit better before we started trying to share a small 480 sq ft university housing apartment. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret marrying my husband and I still love him dearly. However, I think we both would have avoided alot of misunderstandings and pain if we had taken the time to really get to know one another before we were married.

Second, I would remind myself that we do not live in a fairy tale. Love is not just an emotion, it is a choice we make daily. It is a putting aside of ourselves to understand the needs of the other person. Marriage is not 50/50 like I thought back then. We both need to give 100% or more to make it work, even if the other person is not giving or putting forth their fair share. Marriage is not about holding grudges and it is not about keeping score. It is about trying to look past our own insecurities and offenses to understand the person with whom we have chosen to share our lives.

I often look back to that first couple years we were married and I'm amazed we survived. We went from seeing each other every 6 - 9 months to living in a very very small apartment. We fought over everything, including whose toothbrush went in which hole in the holder. People would ask how long we'd been married and when we told them they would smile and make a remark about the "honeymoon" stage. I remember looking at my husband thinking if this was the honeymoon stage, we were in trouble! I think part of the problem is that we did not communicate much before we were married. Neither of us had realistic expectations and neither of us knew or understood the other's expectations. I joke now that when we first married my reaction was "We are married! Now we will spend every minute together!" while my husband's reaction was "We are married! Now I can spend more time with my friends without feeling like I'm neglecting her." Needless to say, that did not get us off to a good start.

I'm learning more and more every day how important honest and open communication is in a marriage. We can't expect the other person to read our minds or even read between the lines. And in addition, to communication we need to work on not getting offended. We need to try to look past our hurt feelings to understand what is driving our spouse.

As part of this month's challenge, Lynn also encouraged us to post pictures from our wedding day. So here are a few of my favorites. I had to take pictures of my pictures with my phone so please look past the weird color and fuzziness.

Our 1st Dance as Husband & Wife

Even a Great Husband Makes a Very Poor God - Lisa TerKeurst

2010-04-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine shared this article today and I wanted to repost it here because I thought it was very pertinent to the purpose of my blog. This is a short read, but very thought provoking for someone already married or someone who plans to get married someday (even if they don't have their future spouse picked out yet). As I read it I teared up and smiled at the truths she shares, especially the parts about what marriage does not mean and what marriage does give us. Very true words and a great reminder. Please take a few moments to read this article and share any thoughts or comments.

Lysa TerKeurst - Even a Great Husband Makes a Very Poor God

Today's Thankful Heart - The Greatest Love

2010-04-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful because I am loved by my Lord. I am his princess, His greatest love. I am his favorite. And guess what? So are you, and so are each of my beloved family members. My kids and my husband. Knowing that you are so loved and that your entire family is so loved by such an awesome and powerful God is amazing. Think about it. If you are loved this much by someone who created the world and is willing to die for you, who HAS died for you, what is there to fear? What is there to worry about?

So how do I know this? Because the Lord tells us in His Word how much we mean to Him. The most recent verse I've found regarding this is Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. ~ Zephaniah 3:17

This is such an awesome verse and is packed full of so many gems. First it tells me God is with me and He will save me. He has already saved me, and He will continue to do so. I've know this for a long time, but the next parts are what touch my heart so deep inside. It says he takes delight in me. No, not just delight, He takes GREAT delight in me. It says He will quiet me with his love, I have nothing to worry about when someone this great loves me. And then it finishes by saying He will rejoice over me with singing. As women, I think most, if not all of us, would admit that a man writing and singing a love song to us would melt our hearts. Now imagine the Creator of the World creating and singing a love song just for you. Even when I mess up royally, He still loves me, still delights in me and still sings a love song of rejoicing over me.

And I take even more comfort knowing that He loves my children and my husband with the same fiery love that He has for me. How amazing! No matter how much I love them and want what is best for them, it is but a shadow of what He feels for them.

I feel like I'm just gushing on this post, but then what else can you do when faced with such an amazing love. Have you been here before? Have you been given that revelation yet as to how very much our Creator loves and cherishes you? If not, ask Him to show you. He wants to, you know. He's just waiting for you to ask and open your heart to Him.

No matter where you are in your life, no matter what you have done, He wants to show you His love. Don't feel like you have to have things figured out and your act cleaned up to know His love. Knowing His love is what is going to transform you. He will clean up your messes as He cleans your heart. He does this through His love for you. Ask Him to show it to you, open your heart to Him no matter what you may think it looks like, because I have a secret for you. He already knows what is deep down in that heart of yours, even better than you do and he STILL loves you more than anything in the world. Allow His love to transform you, to comfort you, to sing over you.

Today's Thankful Heart - March 25, 2010

2010-03-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

I've not done this in quite awhile, in fact I've not been blogging much at all lately. But this evening as I sat here trying to wind down after a crazy and stressful week, knowing the same is ahead of me I started thinking of all the things I am thankful for today. I decided it is better for me to focus on those things right now and thank God for all that He has done in my life, rather than worry about things that I need to do tomorrow and the next day.

Today I thank the Lord for:

My husband - yes we have our issues and to be honest I have my days where I just want to not even talk to him, but I know for a fact that goes both ways. And in the end I know he is the one the Lord wants me to be with, he is the one I love no matter what and he is the one who has had a huge influence on who I am today. God has used him so many times to teach me things about myself, to refine me. He is an amazing man and when I bother to look past all the "junk" we tend to focus on, I know that he is my beloved. Many times the people in our lives is not the problem as much as our focus and reactions are the issue. This is so true with the person you have vowed to spend your life with. It is so easy to take them for granted and focus on the "bad" things. Love and marriage is about not focusing on what the world tells us to look at - it is about focusing on what the Lord wants us to look at - to treat our spouses with grace, forgiveness and the love that Christ has for us.

My kids - Once again, those you love the most can be the ones to drive you crazy the most! I truly am shocked at times that I don't have any gray hair yet. But underneath all the craziness I love my children madly. They are my world and even when I long to get away for some peace and quiet I know that after only a very short time I would begin to miss them terribly. They try my patience, but they touch and warm my heart even more. They love me no matter what, even when Mommy has "snapped" and lost it. They are my precious little blessings.

My job - my current position at work has been a blessing beyond belief. And it is a reminder constantly from the Lord that He will keep His promises. I held on for so long at jobs that I felt were sucking the life out of me at times. Jobs that I grew depressed thinking of doing for the rest of my life. But I never felt the "ok" from the Lord to move on. I had plenty of opportunities but I never felt the Lord telling to me go, until this position came along. And now I am so thankful that I waited on Him. Yes, it is crazy and stressful right now - but I know it could be much worse. I have a wonderful manager, I love the work I do the majority of the time and my job is flexible when I need it to be. This is the perfect example in my life as to why I need to wait on the Lord even when things seem unbearable. He will be my Strength!

Wow - it is amazing how great it feels to focus on your blessings. And now with my focus on these I'm going to go discipline my dear boys who are supposed to be laying quietly in my room watching cartoons before bed but sound like they are starting WWIII and then I'm going to do some more work. I pray everyone has a wonderful and blessed eveing.

Unanswered Prayers - It's NOT about me! (or you!)

2010-01-24T21:28:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine is doing a series about Unanswered Prayers. On Friday she did a post called, It's NOT About Me! which I found very profound and convicting. I recommend you check it out. Even if your husband is a Believer I think there are some good nuggets in this post for you. Things in your husband's life, his relationship with God, where you may feel tempted to put in your two cents at times.

I can't tell you how many times I've been in the same situation, how many times I've caught myself thinking about how much easier it would be on me if my husband would just submit to the Lord. And each time, if I listened carefully I would hear the Lord saying "it's not about you, my dear!"

How true. I need to remember that my husband's relationship with God is between him and God. I am not part of that equation. I'm called to love him and pray for him, period!

Ephesians & Marriage: Love, Respect and Submission

2010-01-10T21:01:00.000-08:00

I just started reading a book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs called Love & Respect. It is talking about this vicious cycle that many of our marriages fall into. Women crave and need love. Men need respect. If a woman does not feel love from her man, she will most likely not give him respect. In turn if he does not feel respected, he will often react in unloving ways towards his wife. So we spiral down in this crazy cycle and unless someone chooses to step out and break it it will be never ending.

A verse quoted in the book which I think I've always glossed over is Ephesian 5:33

However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Wow - can't be much clearer than that! I decided to read this verse in context and skipped back up to verse 22 and reread Ephesians 6 from verse 22 to 33. Interesting how many new things popped up to me.

The first verse speaks of the wife submitting to the husband. I know this verse has been a huge contention for many before. We hear the word submission or submit and cringe. But God has given me this word over my life this year and I'm beginning to see it in a new light. For me I'm learning to submit to His Love this year. To truly understand and accept how much He loves me unconditionally. Seems pretty easy on the surface, but for some reason I've been programmed all my life to feel that I have to perform for love. I have to do something to earn the love of others. So this is a new concept for me. I've known for quite awhile that God's salvation, forgiveness and mercy were free gifts. But I'm just beginning to understand that His love is also a free gift.

But I digress. I know many who will recognize verse 22 about wives submitting to their husbands, but only if verse 25 is fulfilled. Verse 25 tells husbands to love their wives the same as Christ loves the Church. This is true, husbands should love their wives in this way. However, stating that you won't submit to your husband until he shows you the love detailed in verse 25 is putting us right back into that crazy downward spiraling circle - the Love & Respect cycle.

So, once again - someone has to step out and decide the marriage is more important than their "rights". Someone has to step out and say - "Lord, I know you want me to love my spouse unconditionally, just as you love me. Even if in the world's eyes he/she does not deserve it!" Will you choose to be this person? Will you choose during those tough times instead of clinging to your rights, to go to the Lord and ask Him for strength and to fill you with love for your spouse? To help you to see them through His eyes?

Today, a good friend of mine explained that the original meaning of the word submit was actually to come up from beneath someone and to give them support. This makes so much sense. As wives we were created to be our husband's helpmeet. That is why God created Eve for Adam and nothing has changed since then. It makes sense that as wives we are to submit, to come up under our husbands and support them. To do this we must show them respect and unconditional love - even when we don't believe they deserve it. We can only do this through the strength of the Lord.

Now, given our husbands are not perfect and we should not follow them into something that goes against the Lord, however if we truly learn to turn to God in submitting to our husband, respecting them and loving them, He will be faithful to show us in those circumstances how to stand for Him and His Truth in a way that is loving and respectful.

In the end, it all comes back to the Lord. He is the one asking us to submit to our husbands and He is the one who will show us how to do so and give us the strength to do it. And in the end, He will bless us, our husbands and our marriages if we are obedient.

Love Dare - Love is not Irritable

2009-12-30T20:46:00.000-08:00

Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. ~ Proverbs 16:32

This dare has really spoken to me today. This relates to not only my marriage, but my entire family. I want to be less irritable with my husband and my children. I want to do less yelling and more loving of my family, showing them grace and letting God's love flow through me to them.

According to the Love Dare book, there are two contributing reasons to irritability. The first is stress. While I do have this in my life, it is not to the extent that I've had in the past. So you would expect my irritability with my family would have lessened over the past year. But this does not seem to be the case.

The second reason was selfishness. This is usually due to lust (being ungrateful for what you have and burning with desire for things you don't have), bitterness, greed and pride. Ouch! I think this is where my irritability stems from, pride probably being the biggest culprit.

In Matthew 12:34 Jesus says "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." If this is true (and since it is God's words, it is) then what is in my heart is not good.

So, the question is how to change this. I need my heart so filled with God's love that it overflows into all areas of my life. The key is love. As my heart is filled with God's love the selfishness and therefore the irritability will fade from my life.

Recently I came across a suggestion to find 40 verses in the Bible about anger. To write them down and then read them at least 2 times a day aloud for 40 days. By the end of that time the verses would begin to be written on your heart and at times when irritability begins to rise you will be able to use these verses. I really like this idea and have begun a search for my 40 verses.

However, last night as I thought on this more I realized that while these verses are the Words of God and therefore, full of power, they would only help to keep down the irritability and anger in my heart. They would in a way just be a mask or a reactive solution to the root cause. Memorizing these verses are definitely good, but I felt there needed to be more.

I need to fill my heart with God's love so there is no room for the selfishness that breeds irritability and anger instead of just learning how to fight these emotions/reactions. How do I do this?

It came to me that this is why I've been studying David and his heart for God. The way to fill my heart with God's love is to pursue His heart and His emotions. To understand His love for me. So I decided in addition, to these 40 verses dealing with anger, I'm going to search Scriptures for 40 verses regarding God's unfailing and passionate love for me and I will read those 2 times a day as well.

I believe if I begin to start and end my days with verses about how much the Lord loves me even in my weakest moments, this may finally really sink into my mind and heart. At that point I won't be able to help but return the same love to the Lord. As His love fills my heart and life I will find more patience and peace with my family - those I love the most.

Improving your Marriage by Gazing Upon Him

2009-12-23T00:50:00.000-08:00

I've recently started a study of David and his heart for God. I have a desire to one day stand before my Lord and hear the words "Well done my good and faithful servant. You are a woman after my own heart."

I posted about gazing on God's beauty on my other blog today and how the more I pursue and understanding of God's heart, emotions and love for me the greater my love for Him grows. As this love grows my desire to follow Him and spend time with Him also grows. I don't need to earn His love nor can I. I don't have to work to be a "good" christian because as I realize how passionate he is about me I will naturally walk closer with Him.

Now you may ask - why post here if I already posted on my other blog tonight about this? The reason is because focusing on God's beauty and His heart not only draws me closer to Him, it draws me closer to my dear husband. As I gaze upon God and pursue an understanding of His heart, I am naturally filled with love for Him. This love overflows into my other relationships as well.

I've found that as I fall more and more in love with my Lord, I'm also falling in love with my husband all over again. Those giddy high school girl feelings that I had 17 years ago when he would walk in the room are coming back. I'm focusing on all the things I love about him instead of those things that annoy me. And I'm doing this without any effort because it is just coming naturally, like it did when we first started dating. It is amazing!

So today - my advice for each of you out there who wants to improve your relationship with your husband is to pursue an understanding of God's love for you. As you do, His love will fill you and overflow onto your husband. As you gaze upon the Lord, He will open your eyes and heart to see yourself and your beloved in a new light.

Love Dare - Love is Not Rude

2009-10-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

I've been on this dare for quite awhile now. This seems to be the hardest to date for me which is kinda sad considering it is only Day 5! But the truth of it is that I'm scared - I'm scared to carry out this dare, but determined not to skip over it. So here I am stuck on Day 5.

Why am I scared? Well, here is a little excerpt from the Day 5 dare:

King Solomon said it well - "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife" - Proverbs 25:24. Are you unpleasant to be around in your own home? Do you even realize how unpleasant you can be to live with? Test yourself with these questions (be brutally honest):

How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem?
Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

Now, I'm under no illusions as to whether or not I need to improve in this area. I am by no means sitting here reading this thinking "Oh yeah, my husband needs to work on these things!" Sure, he does but this is about changing me so I love him the way the Lord intended. It's focus is not on changing him. And I know that I've failed here.

So here I sit, praying for the courage to step up and do this day's dare. Praying that when I do I can put aside the defensiveness and hurt that is sure to follow if my beloved gives an honest answer. A huge part of me does not want an honest answer from him, but deep down I know that an honest answer is what I need.

Here is the Day 5 Dare:
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking him or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Lord,
I ask that you give me courage to find a quiet time to sit down and sincerely ask my husband to give me an honest answer to the above question. I pray that he'll not feel the need to sugar-coat his answer, that he'll be honest with me so that we an move forward in our marriage. And Lord, I pray that you'll help me to really hear his answer. To not beome defensive, to not justify my behavior or attack him with things he does. This is not about me, this is about improving my marriage and loving my husband. Help me to humble myself to you and to him, to put aside myself to focus on allowing you to transform me into the wife you desire me to be. To focus on loving him. In your preciouse name, Jesus ~Amen!

Love Dare - Love is Thoughtful

2009-08-23T22:25:00.000-07:00

I'm now leading the Love Dare for an online group of Moms. This is really making me think even more about these (we are doing one each week) so that I have something meaningful to share with the other moms each week.

Day 4 (or this week's dare for our group) is Love is Thoughtful. One thing it mentions is how when we first met we used to honestly be able to say "I can't stop thinking about you!" because it was true. We really did think about them all day long. We thought about the wonderful times we had just spent with them and dreamed about the future times we would have together. We thought about things we could do for them to let them know how much we were thinking of them.

But then we get married, get jobs, have children and start to take one another for granted. We no longer think about that person throughout our day, let alone think about what we could do to make them happy. The times we do tend to spend our day obsessing over them is usually because we are angry/hurt about something they did or said, not because we are thinking about how much we love them and can't stand having to wait to see them again.

So this week I want to dwell on those first months when my husband and I first started dating. Not as I have in the past when I look back and wonder where the "spark" went and why we no longer have it. No, instead of looking back longing for the days of old, I am going to look back and think about what I did different then, how I thought differently than I do now. Maybe that is what is really missing now, not a "spark" but a way of thinking.

I am going to remember how my heart raced when I saw him walk into a room and ask myself why that happened then. Maybe it was because during the day leading up to that sighting I had been thinking constantly on all the wonderful qualities of this man (okay so he was a boy at the time!) that I had just started dating.

I'm going to make an effort to do two things. One, to dwell throughout my day on what a wonderful man the Lord has blessed me with and two, to rediscover what things I can do or say to be thoughtful towards this man. How can I make his day better? Not because I want him to treat me that way but because I love him and have a desire to please him.

Today's Thankful Heart - 7/8/09

2009-07-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

No worries - I've not totally dropped the Love Dare. Things have been crazy here, but I'm still going to be posting on these. In the meantime though I figured it has been WAY too long since I've posted here.

Today I thank the Lord for:

Being part of an amazing homeschool co-op with some wonderful families. The Lord is so much at work in this. I've been slowly getting the curriculum for my daughter (3rd grade) and my eldest son (K) for next year and I'm so excited to get started again. It is lots of work, but so worth it and rewarding!

Kingdom Builder Books - this is a little local family owned Christian used bookstore. They are a homeschooling family and sell homeschool curriculum. I just ordered the last of my daughter's curriculum which will not be covered by the charter school (b/c the publisher is Christian). It is such a blessing that we have found this store!

Have a wonderful job - everyday I'm so thankful for my new position at work. I feel so tremendously blessed. I appreciate it so much more because I've been in positions in the past years which I did not care for the work, had less than pleasant managers and/or worked horrible overtime during month and quarter ends. Now I am even so much more thankful for a job which I love to do and feel like I'm actually contributing something useful to the company, a manager who is wonderful and no more long hours which make my kids forget who I am!

My husband - I can't leave him out. I'm daily thankful for this wonderful man the Lord has chosen to place in my life. Today I had to go into work early so he got the boys all ready by himself (he usually does most of it in the mornings anyway). Then tonight I had plans to meet with my cousin for a bit and he picked the boys up from daycare and had them fed before I got home. Even more amazing is that he does many of these things on pretty much a daily basis.

Love Dare - Love is not Selfish

2009-04-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

I started this post a few days ago and have been dwelling on it even longer. Day 3 (yep, I'm working on some really loooong days here!) is Love is not Selfish.

I can't tell you how many times over the almost 14 years I've been married I've thought about how selfish my husband was (bear with me here!). And since I've come to know the Lord again, I can't count how many times I've cried out to God asking why I had to be with such a selfish man.

Well, apparently God has been answering me this whole time, the problem is until recently I was whining so loud about how selfish I thought my hubby was, I could not hear His answer. I've finally stopped to take a breath though and have started to hear Him. Know what he is saying?

He's telling me that it is not my concern as to whether or not my husband is being selfish, it is only my concern as to how selfish I'm being. Of course at first I denied any selfishness wholeheartedly. After all, I had shown Christianly love by dealing with my husband, right?

God does not seem to think so. So I've been learning little by little lately just how very selfish I really am. God keeps revealing different areas where I've labeled my selfishness with things such as "independence", "me-time", "what is best for us", and the list goes on and on.

But He was not done there. Next He started to reveal how very manipulative I am at times, especially to the one I love the most, the one I promised to share my life with for better or worse.

But Wait! There's more!

Many times when I start to catch myself doing something or saying something to subtlely (or not so subtlely at times) manipulate my husband I find out just how deep this runs. I recognize what I'm doing and decide on a different approach instead. Just as I'm congratulating myself for being so humble and wise, I feel a tap on my shoulder. God's whisper says, "Angela, my love. You are still doing it." Ouch! It seems this manipulation thing runs so deep in me that I do it without even realizing it at times. It has become second nature. I find I have to no power to stop even when I try my hardest over and over again.

The only time I start to find myself overcoming this are those times when I first notice myself doing this and I cry out to the Lord to reveal His path to me. And then as I walk down it I have to continue to cry out to Him and hold onto Him as He leads me because I've found I'm very easily distracted.

So . . . Love is not Selfish. This day's dare has taken almost 3 weeks of wrestling to get it to just begin to sink in. I've decided this one is similar to being humble. If you think you have it figured out and are living it out, you are probably the furthest from it. I'll just keep crying out and holding on!

Today's Thankful Heart - My Man

2009-04-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

I posted on here once before about how we should brag on our men - it is good for our marriage. It helps us to focus on those qualities that made us fall in love with our spouse when we first met them. And it is good for them to hear (1st hand or from others) about how much we love, appreicate, respect and admire them.

So, I figured it was about time for me to do some more bragging on my man. I snapped the above shot today as he was pulling his bike out the garage and parking it on the side of the road. Later in the afternoon he was able to take it out for a spin for a bit. It has been awhile and I was happy that he was able to get out and enjoy himself.

I've mentioned before how good my hubby is at fixing things. He's rebuilt our laptop recently, completely rebuilt our shower and put in hardwood floors in our bathroom, among many other things. He is just amazing. He also rebuilt this bike. He bought it from his grandfather, completely tore it apart and built it back up. He is simply amazing! And pretty HOT too, if I do say so myself.

He is an amazing man, a wonderful father and a loving husband - and I'm so proud to say - He's my Man!!!! I love ya, babe!

Love Dare - Love is Kind

2009-04-15T21:57:00.000-07:00

I've been focusing on this one quite a bit and I am ashamed to say it has taken me almost 2 weeks to start "getting" it.

I've often thought being kind meant not being the one to start an argument, to not be mean for no reason. But I was so wrong. It is so very much more than this.

One thing brought to mind was that kindness means anticipating the needs of your spouse (or someone else) and meeting them in that moment. It means thinking and acting outside of you and your needs, taking the focus off yourself. I've often thought of myself as kind, but the Lord has been revealing to me how self-focused I truly am most of the time. This has been very humbling for me.

Proverbs 31 describes a good wife as being one whose husband and children praise and bless her. "She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." (Proverbs 31:26) That is so not me, but someone I so want to be.

There were some questions at the end of this day's challenge which I think are very important. Ones that I'm not sure I like my answers to:

1. How would your spouse describe you on the kindness meter?
2. How harsh are you?
3. How gentle & helpful?
4. Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help?
5. Do you wait for your spouse to be kind first?

Lord,

please continue to reveal to me those areas I need to work on and please transform me to be the wife and mother you want me to be. My desire is to step into that destiny that You have for me. Please help me to do so.

AMEN

Passover 2009

2009-04-09T20:21:00.000-07:00

Last night my house church celebrated Passover for the 2nd year together. It was an amazing night. I ended up taking all three of my children with me which made things interesting. My daughter (7 1/2 years old) did very well and was excited to be able to ask one of the questions during the meal. My boys (4 1/2 and almost 3) were a bit more difficult to manage but everyone there helped and seemed to enjoy them being there. Even when my youngest tipped his cup over on his head (luckily it was pretty much empty!) and my other son kept announcing how very hungry he was, quite loudly, multiple times.

We each had parts in the dinner. We stumbled through some of the parts, but in the end we enjoyed wonderful fellowship with one another, delicious food, some good laughs, and beautiful music and worship. But most importantly we had an amazing time of remeberance of what God has done for His people and for each of us.

So today I am thankful for an amazing God who loves his people so much that he would pursue them and rescue them as he did the Israelites from Egypt and as He did each of us through His Son, Jesus. I'm looking forward to many more years of celebrating the Passover with my brothers and sisters!

Love is Patient

2009-04-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

So, I've been meditating on this one for quite some time now. So much for getting through one dare every three days!

But I think the important thing is to keep up going through the dares and making sure they are sinking in. Doing something for only one day or even just for the 40 days will not improve my marriage if I don't learn something lasting from it.

The book has some really good information about how love is patient. I won't share all of that here though. You can read the book yourself easily enough. I want to share here my thoughts.

First, the more I think about this, the more I realize that my dear husband probably has to practice patience with me more often than I do with him. That is not good. Ideally as a believer in Christ I should be the more patient one. Hmm, something to definitely ponder and ask the Lord to help me with!

Second, this needs to be learned not only in relation to my husband but also with my children. And with everyone I come into contact with. Whether it is that annoying person at work who can easily get my blood to boiling or that person who cut me off in traffic today. Not only should I excercise patience with them, but that will improve my marriage as well. The more patient I am with others in my life the more pleasant of a person I will be for my dear husband to be around. There is nothing worse than to spend time with someone who is always complaining about everything and snapping at everyone.

And the last thought to share tonight is that patience is not about just biting your tongue. That might be how it starts out in the beginning - biting your tongue and asking the Lord to help you. But in the end that is just bottling up your annoyance and frustrations. True patience is an inner calm when thing are not so calm around you. That is my goal. To be able to draw on an inner calm (that is the work of the Holy Spirit by the way!) so I'm not just "biting my tongue" but so I am truly exhibiting patience from the inside out.

Love Dare - Introduction

2009-03-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

Last night I read the Introduction to the Love Dare book and did some journaling. Today as I reflected over these things I decided there are some questions I need to ask myself.

In the introduction the authors state that God created marriage to be a beautiful and priceless gift which He uses to help us:

eliminate lonliness
multiply our effectiveness
establish families
raise children
enjoy life
bless us with relational intimacy

In addition they talk about how marriage "shows us our own need to grow and deal with our own issues and self centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner." They then go on to say that the world tells us to follow our hearts, but we should instead be leading our hearts. If we are not leading it then someone or something else will lead it.

"The truth is, love is a decision, not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial and transformational."

As I reflected on these things, and prepared myself to begin this Love Dare again, I thought it wise to do some self-reflection. To ask myself the following quesitons and rate myself in my marriage on each of these items. I'm not going to share my "ratings" here with you (that is for my personal journal - and to be honest I've not fully determined my ratings yet!). However, I am going to share the questions with you here and encourage you to ask yourself the same things.

I agree with what the authors are saying above about marriage and must honestly ask myself if these purposes for marriage are being accomplished in my life and if not, what do I need to do to change that? And I need to ask myself, am I willing to admit that I need to change - as opposed to assuming my husband needs to change. And finally, am I willing to allow God to change me?

1. Does my marriage elminate lonliness in my life? In my husband's life?

2. Does my marriage multiply the effectiveness of myself and my husband?

3. Is my marriage establishing a family?

4. Is my marriage allowing my husband and I to raise our children they way we want to?

5. Does my marriage help both of us to enjoy life?

6. Has our marriage blessed us with relational intimacy?

7. Has my marriage caused me to identify my own need to grow and deal with my own issues and self-centeredness? Have I even begun to make changes to do so?

8. Do I allow my husband to help me with identifying these things in my life and with making the changes?

9. Do I see my husband as my lifelong partner? Do I treat him as such? Does he see himself as my lifelong partner? Does he see me as his?

10. Do I follow my heart or do I lead it? If I follow it, what or who does lead it?

11. Is love a feeling or decision for me?

12. Is my love selfless? sacrificial? transformational?

Love Dare - Getting Started

2009-03-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

I've recently went through the Love Dare with a group of other women. While doing this I decided this "dare" can have benefits in my life far surpassing just my marriage, although that is the most important. I've decided to go back through the book and the dares myself, but at a slower pace in order to let each dare really sink in and become a part of my life. I think this may end up being a 120 day dare. I've also decided this is something I want to revisit at least once a year.

As I go back through this book, I've decided to blog what I learn here. I plan to be very transparent as long as it does not disrespect my dear husband or our marriage in anyway. I've also decided to start a journal to my beloved which I pray someday I am able to give to him. For now, I'm just writing in it what I'm learning through these dares and expressing my love and appreciation for him.

I hope you'll consider joining me in this journey and please feel free to leave any comments you may have. My ultimate goal is to learn what true unconditional love is as the Lord reveals things to me through these dares.

Today's Thankful Heart - March 16th

2009-03-16T22:01:00.000-07:00

I've not been posting much lately on any of my blogs. But that is NOT because I'm not thankful. In fact it is just the opposite. I've had so much to be thankful for but with that I've been extremely busy and my blogging has suffered.

So today I'm thankful for, praise God for:

My new job - I've just recently finished the training of my replacement for my previous position at my work and I also just finished my last quarter end. I'll still be affected a bit by quarter ends, but not in such a way that my children don't see me for 2 weeks at a time. This is my first full week working in my new position and I am loving it. The work keeps me busy and I am really enjoying what I do. And my new manager is great!
My parents - My parents are down visiting right now. Our three children are their only grandchildren and the kids love that grandpa & grandma are having a "sleep-over" with us. I wish we saw them more often.
My husband - He is an amazing guy. I now have a bathroom with not only a wall and shower that has been fixed, but one that looks like a spa. I also have a new mattress and bedroom set which he was able to find for next to nothing which is beautiful. My hubby is amazing even without these things, but I realize more and more every day that I am blessed. He takes wonderful care of myself and our family even right now when things are tight for us. Words can not even express how much I love him and how much I appreciate all he does for us. My mom just got my youngest a pair of pajamas that say "My Daddy is my Hero!" All I can say is that I love that my children look up to my husband as their hero and he is my hero as well.

Prayer Attitudes - Are my Prayers the Problem?

2009-02-18T23:00:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure about others reading this, but my hubby can be a bit moody at times. I joke with him that men get PMS just like women, they just won't admit to it like we do.

He is actually a pretty quiet guy most of the time, which means when things are not good he usually gets even quieter. I've learned that one of my love languages is words of affirmation. This and experiences growing up have resulted in my being very sensitive to the tone of others. I tend to be very aware of someone's tone of voice when they are speaking to me and unfortunately if I am not careful I tend to take it personally - so if someone is not happy I try to "fix" it.

This annoys my hubby to no end. If he is having a bad day he is very quiet. The problem is, if he is upset with me he acts pretty similar. He shuts me out and gives me the silent treatment. So sometimes it is hard for me to tell the difference between him being upset with me and him just having a bad day. I have a tendency to ask him several times if he is okay and if he is upset with me. If he is not upset with me already, he is after my asking that a few times. So I've been trying to work on that.

The past few days he has been a bit "moody" again. We are a bit tight on finances like many and I know that stresses him out. In addition, we had to put our dog down a couple days ago. We've had her for 11 1/2 years and although we knew this was coming it was a bit hard. I think it was even harder on him seeing how our daughter took it. So I think this is all getting him down.

It is hard sometimes when he is like this to know how to act. Do I just give him his space and leave him alone or do I just act cheerful and happy, as if I don't notice that he is pouting and having a snappy tone towards me? Most times it seems like whatever I choose, it is the wrong choice.

I've been trying very hard lately to pray about this. My problem many times is I just don't know how to handle this in the best way. I need wisdom and discernment just to know what to do in these situations (as opposed to times when I know what I should do, I just don't want to do it! But that is a whole other post!)

So last night on my way home I called my hubby to see if he needed me to pick up anything. I knew just from that short conversation that he was in a "mood" again. So I found myself starting to pray on my way home. That is good since in the past my automatic reaction would have been to steam all the way home about how rude he was. By the time I got home I would have worked myself up so that a fight was inevitable. But my first reaction last night was to pray.

"Dear Lord, please give me wisdom and discernment in how to deal with my husband when I get home."

All of a sudden it hit me! I almost put on my brakes in the middle of the freeway without realizing it! Maybe part of the problem is my prayers!? It was like a bolt of lighting from God hit me with understanding. I resumed praying again, but changed one word -

"Dear Lord, please give me wisdom and discernment in how to LOVE my husband when I get home."

God showed me even my attitude while praying is important. Asking Him to show me how to "deal" with my husband was still putting the emphasis on me. I was being selfish - just caring about how I could get through the evening without "losing it". I was feeling sorry for myself and becoming the martyr in the relationship again. Instead I need to focus on how to LOVE my husband. How to show him that no matter what his day has been like, I love him and care for him - and that I will continue to do so no matter what.

Talk about humbling! Everytime I start to think that I have this "good" wife thing down - God sends another bolt of discernment my way - revealing yet another part of my selfishness - which in turn makes me realize even more so how amazing his grace is towards me!

Today's Thankful Heart - Feb 8th

2009-02-08T19:12:00.000-08:00

I have not been online much lately, but I figured it was about time for me to check back in. I'm hoping to be writing quite a bit more, definitely on this blog in the upcoming weeks. I am beginning the "Love Dare" tomorrow along with a group of women with whom I've become very close.

I'm excited about this, but also a bit nervous. I do love my husband very much and think he is definitely worth this challenge - but what if I fail? I have an issue with failure. I tend to not try something if I think I may fail. Not a good way to live your life, really. Kind of boring at times.

So, I probably will fail at times going through this next 40 days, BUT I believe the Lord is going to teach me a lot through it and as I already said - my hubby is definitely worth it!

So, today I'm thankful for the Lord's mercy when we fail, His strength to carry us through and His love in all of it.

Today's Thankful Heart - Jan 23rd

2009-01-23T21:15:00.001-08:00

Today I'm thankful for the Lord's direction and discipline. I received an email from a good friend the other day. It was a very lengthy email which she had forwarded from another friend of hers regarding a dream and its interpretation.

One section of the interpretation spoke very clearly to me about a spirit of indifference in my own life. I've long believed the Church has fallen asleep, but God has made it very clear that although I may be awake enough to recognize that there is a spirit of indifference, I'm not immune to this spirit myself. In fact, He made it quite clear to me that this spirit actually has a much greater hold on me and my walk with Him than I've ever realized.

As I'm looking back through my journal notes, I've come across an entry from just over a week ago. It was a prayer that I wrote in regards to Proverbs 3:11-12.

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
~ Proverbs 3:11-12

Lord,
Please give me the wisdom to recognize your discipline and to accept it as a gesture of your love for me. Help me to make the necessary changes in my life in regards to this discipline. And thank you for your discipline and rebuke.
In Jesus' Name - Amen

Isn't amazing how the Lord is faithful to answer our prayers when they are in line with His Will!

Today's Thankful Heart - Jan 16th

2009-01-16T21:24:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for many things, most small things but I'm still thankful. We serve an awesome God!

Friday & Days off - not much more to say here! Except that Monday is a holiday and I have Tuesday off from work as well. I'll get to stay home and do homeschooling with my daughter and am going to take her to the resource center to get her signed up in the AR Reading program. She did it last year when she was at the private school she was in. I'm so happy to learn that the charter school has it available as well.
New job - I officially start my new position when I return to work on Wednesday. I'll still be spending some days in my old department through the middle of March, however my replacement is really learning well. I used to work with her at a different company and I knew she was going to do well. She's been catching on even better than I imagined though. It will be frustrating for her a bit at first but she's going to do great when she gets it all figured out. I think she's going to do even better in the position than I did! AND she is a Christian. We've had some wonderful conversations over the past 2 weeks.
Warm weather - the weather has been wonderful the past few days. I'm looking forward to taking the kids to the park again this weekend.
My Husband - last but definitely NOT last! Once again I just have to brag on him. He recently bought a used computer that did not have it's hard drive. It is the same computer that we have. We had some parts that needed replacing and this used computer was cheaper than buying the parts. I came home the other day and he had both computers torn apart and by the end of the night we had our old computer back, good as new. In some cases even better. He amazes me with the things he takes care of for our family. I am truly blessed.

Today's Thankful Heart - Jan 10th

2009-01-10T23:37:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for:

God's Direction - He is so amazing. A group I'm a part has been fasting and praying the past week for God's direction in this new year. He has answered each of us in different ways, but we have all received direction from Him. The fasting ended yesterday and I was beginning to think that I had missed what the Lord had to say to me, but then today He answered me very clearly. He is such an amazing and faithful God!
Time with my children - My dear husband went into work this morning for a few hours. The kids and I ended up spending time at two different parks today and had a blast. I really need to do this more often. Then when my hubby returned home my daughter and I went to the library and picked up some books for school (she is doing a report on horses this month). Then while my husband fixed dinner the oldest two donned their new helmets and road their bikes to the park with my youngest and myself following behind on on foot. They are all sleeping good tonight!
My Husband - Nothing in particular - I am just thankful for him and all he does for this family. I'm blessed with a man who is a very mechanical person (I definitely am not!) and he is able to fix pretty much anything. Today he took apart our laptop because where the screen attaches to the laptop has become loose. He is always taking care of things for our family like this. He is an amazing man and he takes wonderful care of our family.

Today's Thankful Heart - Jan 6th

2009-01-06T21:23:00.000-08:00

Today/this week I'm thankful for:

A daughter who surprises me more and more all the time. All my kids are precious, but she is at an age where I'm really starting to see her grow in the Lord and it is amazing and wonderful to see.
Being able to homeschool my daughter. Even though I work full time I've been able to participate in a 3 day a week homeschool co-op and homeschool her the other two days. We are both enjoying it so much and it is drawing us closer together as well. Lots of work, but oohhh so worth it!
A new Journal! Last night I filled up my journal and today I get to start on a new one! Yeah - I love journaling and starting a new one is always so much fun and so exciting (okay - so maybe I'm a bit of a nerd!)
God's faithfulness - this year has not really started out any different from any other. Still just as busy as ever, still have the same worries/issues going on in my life for the most part, but for some reason it just seems different. Brighter and more hopeful for some reason! I know God is at work in my life and in my family no matter our circumstances. It is amazing how that changes things even when nothing on the outside has changed!

Today's Thankful Heart - Dec 31st - Reflections on 2008

2008-12-31T20:59:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for this past year. In many ways it has been the hardest year of my life, in my marriage and life in general. However, at the same time it has been the best year of my life. Through all the ups and downs the Lord has drawn me closer to Him. It was because of my deepening relationship with Him that I've had the strength to change my attitude and how I deal with certain situations. That in turn has brought many amazing changes in my life.

God is amazing and most of all He is faithful. I've started to realize this year how very much He really loves me, and how very little I deserve that love. It is funny how those two things seem to go hand in hand.

So tonight as I look over the past year and all the Lord has brought me through and all that He has taught me I am thankful for the journey so far. I also realize it has just begun. There will be many more hills and valleys before I reach my eternal destination, but I can trust that through it all the Lord will be with me and has a plan for my life and the lives of those I love.

Today's Thankful Heart - Dec 21st

2008-12-21T12:36:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for, praise God for:

Our local library - I'm a total bookworm and I love getting new books to read. This time it is the Complete C.S. Lewis and four books in a series by Michael Phillips (Secret of the Rose series).
Pennies and M&Ms - I'm trying something new with the boys, we'll see how it goes. I've been reading a book called Creative Correction which has some really good ideas in it. If this works I'll be sharing it on one of my other blogs.
Christmas - I just absolutely love Christmas. I always have, but this year I'm really starting to cherish my family more than I ever have before. This year we are a bit more financially strapped than in the past, but we are still finding so much joy in the holiday season. I feel like my children are starting to truly understand that Christmas is not so much about getting gifts as it is about giving to others and cherishing the blessings the Lord has given us. My four year old son has been talking to me lately about what Christmas is all about. He'll tell you it is about how much God our Father loves us and how He sent his Holy Son for us. I love hearing my kids talk to me about God and how much they love Him and know that He loves them and is watching over them.

Today's Thankful Heart - Dec 14th

2008-12-14T16:31:00.000-08:00

Wow! It has been awhile since I've posted on any of my blogs. I've not forgotten to be thankful, just haven't had much time to be online.

Today I'm thankful because:

I only have one more quarter end with crazy hours to make it through before my job transfer at work is complete.
God is still walking beside me (sometimes carrying me) even when things are so crazy in my life that I don't have time to blog or even journal! Even those times when I've let the busyness of life interfere with my time with Him. He is so amazing faithful and gracious.
My family is healthy and we are looking forward to spending a wonderful Christmas together. The kids understand that things are a bit tight this year, but they are more excited about the wrapping gifts and giving them than they are about getting them anyway (for the most part!)
Spending Thanksgiving with family. We took the kids up to my hubby's grandparents this year. I was a bit worried about us all being in their small house and how they would handle the kids, especially the boys. However, I need not have worried. We had a wonderful time!
Eggnog - I found some vanilla spice egg nog. Yummy!!!!

Serving Christ in your Marriage

2008-11-23T22:05:00.000-08:00

"It doesn't take a good man, or even a saved man, for a woman to have a heavenly marriage, but it does take a woman willing to honor God by being the kind of wife God intended."
~ Created to be his Helpmeet, Chapter 5: The Gift of Wisdom

We must remember, in loving our husbands God is not asking anything of us that He has not already done himself for us. Even if we believe our husband is horrible we need to remember how many times we've been horrible to God, basically spit in His face and turned from Him. Even so He chose to faithfully love us anyway and serve us by giving His life for us, by continuing to pursue us with His unconditional love.

He will give us the strength and wisdom to love our husbands the same way He loves us, if we but ask.

"You serve Christ by serving your husband, whether your husband deserves it or not."
~ Created to be his Helpmeet, Chapter 5: The Gift of Wisdom

God calls us to love him first with all our heart, mind and soul. After that His next commandment is to love our neighbor as ourself.

Who is your neighbor? Anyone with whom we come in contact. Not just our friends and those who are easy to love - but everyone. Even our enemies. Especially our enemies! God tells us to pray for our enemies and He tells us our battle is not against flesh and blood.

If we can't love the person we share our home and lives with, who can we love? Some women unfortunately see their husbands as the enemy. I honestly have done so at times myself. But God wants us to see that He placed our husband's in our lives for a reason, and it was not to be our enemy. But if that is how we do see them, then the first step is to pray for our enemy and ask God to show us how to love our enemy. Ask Him to show us how to see our husband through His Eyes. Show us how to have His Heart for our husband. That is the beginning of a heavenly marriage in this imperfect world.

"Women who have difficulties in their marriages usually follow their feelings and just react. But you must stop trusting your hurt responses or the advice you receive from the world, for today's media communicates a worldview that is skewed at best."
~Created to be his Helpmeet, Chapter 5: The Gift of Wisdom

Until recently this was me, reacting to my husband and situations in my marriage based on my hurt responses. Some of them were legitimate, some were not. Regardless, reacting based on the hurt only harms my marriage. I'm slowly learning to serve Christ through my marriage and to react in love towards my husband in all situations. Everyone we know and are close to will hurt us at some time, especially someone you live with and are intimate with. The key is how we respond. I will admit I still have times when I revert back to my old hurt responses (happened this last weekend in fact) however, when that happens we need to ask for forgiveness, ask God for His wisdom and His heart to continue on and start afresh.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 23rd

2008-11-23T13:40:00.000-08:00

I've not posted over the past couple days but that does not mean that I'm not thankful! Today I'm posting for a few things from the past days. I am thankful for, praise God for, rejoice because:

My 4 year old is now begging me to do devotions every day. I've found it is easier for me to engage him one on one, so each night before bed we do the next letter in the alphabet. We'll talk about the things that describe God that begin with that letter. Then we praise God for those things and sing a song. His favorite right now is "Awesome God" and we've added some hand gestures that he loves.

Days off and good talks - I had Friday off from work again and helped out at our homeschool co-op. I was in the preschool and had a blast. On top of it I had a really good discussion with two other moms. We really connected. One of the things we discussed was love languages and how this can help in raising your children to be strong in their faith. I had started reading the Five Love Languages of Children awhile back and have decided to pick it back up. Just from us talking and sharing I believe my main languages are quality time and words of affirmation. I may need to go get the original book and see if that helps in my marriage too. If I understand my dear husband's love languages better it will be easier to show him how thankful I am for him and to show him the love of Christ.

Yummy recipes - my husband found a recipe for a layered pumpkin cheesecake that I made last night. It has to be in the refrigerater for a few hours after it is baked so we just tried it today. YUMMY!!! I'm taking some of it to church tonight. The crust is made of gingersnaps. I love gingersnaps!

Eggnog - seems people either hate or love this stuff. No real in between. I for one, love this time of the year because eggnog makes it's appearance on the shelves again. I was "good" this year and I bought the low fat version and I'm mixing it with milk when I drink it. (My preferred way is the "full" fat version with nothing to dilute it!) However, it may be a bit strange that considering how much I like coffee and eggnog, I really do not like the two mixed!

Thankful Turkey Hands and Adoration

2008-11-19T21:33:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for seeing fruit of the Lord in my daughter's life. This evening as I was doing some stuff around the house I overheard my 7 yr old daughter with the boys (ages 4 and 2 1/2). She was teaching them adoration.

At our church house and at our homeschool co-op she has learned about the ABC's of adoration. At the co-op each week they focus on one letter of the alphabet. They discuss words starting with that letter which describe God. They then praise God for these traits through prayer and worship. After they each have a sheet of paper with the letter and they get to color and draw those things on the paper. They are keeping them in a binder and by the time the year is done they will have an entire binder of Adoration.

I happened to help out last Friday in her class - the letter was L. They came up with Love, Lion, Light, Lamp, and Lamb. (I think that was all of them)

I was so thankful that my daughter not only understood the concept of devotion and adoration, but she was teaching it to my sons as well. It warmed my heart to hear them together speaking about God.

She told me later that every Wednesday night she wants to do adoration and a craft with the boys. She wants to do the teaching herself which includes planning the craft, helping them with it, doing the adoration and doing some Bible reading.

Tonight she had them tracing their hands and then cut out the hands to make turkeys which they taped together in a long line. She then asked them what they were thankful for and wrote it on each turkey. It is now hanging on the boys' door. The picture below is the turkey "wreath" she helped them with and her own turkey that she made last night. She had told me she was going to write on it what she was thankful for. Later that night I found it on the boy's door with their names listed on it.

Brag on your Man

2008-11-17T23:19:00.000-08:00

I subscribe to a daily email called the Generous Wife. The email includes tips each day on how to be a more generous wife to your husband. Today's tip was to Brag on your Man. I love this idea. Not only does it go along perfectly with my blog (how can you not be thankful when you are bragging on your man!) it is also a wonderful way to honor my husband.

I've heard recently that women need to know they are loved and men need to know they are respected. What better way to show your husband you respect him than to brag on how wonderful, strong and dependable he is. Whether you do it in front of him so he overhears it or if you do it behind his back and he finds out later - it will be a good way to stroke his ego. Women tend to have a need to nurture their family, while a man has a need to provide for their families. Bragging on my man accomplishes both of these objectives!

So here is my bragging for the day about my wonderful husband:

1. He takes care of everything around the house. Not only the traditional "guy" chores such as mowing the lawn and taking out the trash. He also fixes the lawn mower, lays tile and hardwood floors, paints, does the plumbing, tears out showers, rebuilds showers, builds fences, builds sheds, fixes cars, fixes bikes (motorized and pedal), and numerous other things that need to get done. Basically anything that is needing to be done - he is more than capable of taking care of it. I am so blessed!

2. He is an awesome cook! Especially BBQ. He makes an amazing tri trip and has even been encouraged to sell some of his rubs, spice combinations, sauces etc. In addition he makes an awesome queso type dip for chips, cheesecake from scratch and a bleu cheese potato salad and german chocolate cake from scratch that is often specifically requested by our friends.

3. He is a wonderful father - I love to watch him playing with the kids. My boys both imitate everything he does. They are going to grow up to make some lovely young lady as blessed as I am because of my hubby's example. My daughter will grow up to know what it means to be loved and cared for because of his example to her.

4. He is a wonderful husband - he does so many little things for me that others may overlook. However these things mean the world to me.

The Lord has truly blessed me with this wonderful man and I'm thankful everyday for him.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 17th

2008-11-17T20:57:00.000-08:00

Today I thank God for:

His Mercy and Grace - no matter what I do He picks me up, dusts me off and puts me back on my feet - He does it all in love, kissing away the tears and the booboos.
His Faithfulness - even when we can't see, hear or feel Him, He is there. Walking beside us, sometimes carrying us through whatever comes our way.
His Discipline - yep, this one is yucky sometimes, but without it we would never mature. I'm thankful that He does this in love because He wants us to share in the blessings He has planned for us.
His Wisdom - I'm so very thankful that I have a God that is bigger than me. One who is willing to impart some of that wisdom to me if I will but only ask and receive it.
His Love - I'm thankful for His unconditional love. For loving me although I do not deserve it in any way. For showing me what it truly means to love and to be loved.

God's Faithfulness

2008-11-16T20:22:00.000-08:00

I realize I did not post yesterday, however Friday night after posting my daily Thankful Heart I came across a post I did a year ago based on an entry in my journal. You can read the post I'm referring to here on my Ang4him site, but I'll be reposting the most pertinent parts here. This has been on my mind all weekend, so I'm posting about it tonight - this is my Thankful Heart posting for this weekend.

First a bit of the backstory (or in this case the poststory, I guess). I've mentioned on my blogs recently that the past year has been both the best and the worst year for me, my marriage and my walk with God. My hubby and I have been through some rough times before, but this year has been the worst in my mind. It has been a very scary roller coaster ride. However, through it all God's been revealing His heart to me. I've come to better understand His love for me, and due to this I have changed and the way I treat my husband has changed. This blog in fact is a result of those changes (read here for my reasons for starting this blog).

I've been thankful in the past few months for what this year has brought and for the changes in myself, my husband and our marriage, as well as my deepening relationship with the Lord. I've been thankful that although it has been painful, God has given me beauty for my pain. Then Friday night I stumbled (I actually believe the Lord led me) to a post I did last year in November.

I had just recently found the Spiritually Unequal Marriage (SUM) blog and Dineen had done a post called The Most Dangerous Prayer, which spoke to me. After reading this post I wrote the following prayer in my journal and the Lord gave me the verses I have posted below.

My Prayer:

Father,
I am falling to my knees asking what I have always been afraid to ask in the past. Asking for the one thing that matters more to me than anything else aside from You. I'm completely surrendering my husband to You, trusting in You fully to take us both through whatever lies ahead. Lord, I am asking that you do whatever it takes to bring my beloved to saving knowledge of You, to a full relationship with You as his Lord and Savior.

After praying this - the Lord gave me these two verses:

Ephesian 3:16-19
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I fully meant this when I prayed it but I had pushed it from my mind. I was thankful before finding this that God has used this past year to draw me closer to Him and to teach me how to be a better wife to my husband, but now I've realized that I actually prayed for exactly what happened over the past year. I may not have imagined it happening in the way it did, but I did pray for it and God was faithful and answered my prayers - in His Way and His Time. He is so faithful.

I know this journey is not over yet. God is still working on my husband, our marriage and most of all me. I find it such an encouragement to look back over this past year and realize that God was even more in control than I had ever originally thought. He has worked so many things together in my life to get me to where I am right now. We have further to go, but right now I'm exactly where He wants me to be and I'm thankful for that!

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 14th

2008-11-14T20:43:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for, praise God for, rejoice because:

I had the day off and I spent it at Daniel Academy. I had some comp days coming to me that my manager wanted me to take before the next quarter end and they needed some help in the preschool for our homeschool co-op. So this Friday and next I've taken the days off and will be helping out. In the end I was not needed in the preschool so I helped with my daughter's classes today. It was amazing! I love homeschooling and this co-op is wonderful! I helped out a few months back and I was amazed today at the difference in the kids when it came time to be in the Prayer Room (these are 1st and 2nd graders!). It is amazing to see how God is working in their lives!
Peppermint White Mochas - need I say more?
Bike Rides and parks - after school today Tyler and I came home and went for a bike ride and stopped at the park down the street for a bit. It was wonderful to get out, get some exercise and spend some time with my daughter - can't say I'm as thankful for the bike seat though!
My husband - what can I say? Nothing in particular today, I'm just thankful for him. He is amazing and I love him more and more all the time.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 13th

2008-11-13T21:16:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for, praise God for, rejoice because:

My hubby is so sweet - last night he could not sleep so he decided to go out to the living room to surf the net and watch some television (our bed has been bothering his back lately as well - time for a new mattress, we've had this one since just after I graduated from college! The couch is very comfy!) Before he left the bedroom he turned the TV to a Christian music channel. Even though I was asleep he was still thoughtful and changed the channel to something he knew I would like in case I woke up. This is not the first time he has done this. The little things like this are what make me feel loved and they are the things I cherish the most
Clean babies - tonight Shaun had some errands to run and had Tyler with him so I picked up the boys after work, fed them and gave them baths. I love the smell of baby shampoo and clean babies.
Being missed - work was very busy today. I had the opportunity to help a couple different individuals with things and after they expressed to me how much they were going to miss me when I transfer the beginning of the year. It is nice to hear that you are appreciated and that others find you helpful.
My hubby's cologne. My husband always wears cologne. He is not one of those guys who smells like they have bathed in it - but he does always dab just a little bit on. I used to think it was so funny because he is a mechanic. I never understood why he would go through the trouble when he was just going to go to work and get all greasy anyway. But I must say I love it. When he leaves in the morning and when he gets home at night I love to put my arms around him and kiss his neck and get a wiff of his cologne.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 12th

2008-11-12T21:00:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for, praise God for, rejoice because:

A good night's rest and a wonderful husband - I am usually the light sleeper but apparently last night I was pretty tired. Our 4 year old it seems was having a good night of deep sleep as well. He woke himself up when he started to wet himself (been a long time since that has happened). I guess he jumped up pretty fast and hit the wall our bedrooms share pretty hard, waking up my hubby. Then he came into our room sobbing because he'd had an accident. My husband changed him, made a bed for him on our floor and settled him back to sleep. I slept through the entire thing! I woke up at 4am to hysterical laughter though. Not sure what Austin was dreaming about, but it was obviously pretty funny!
Nice warm bubble baths and a good book (yep I know I've put this one down already but I can't help it. I love them and I'm going to indulge again tonight before bed!)
Homeschooling - I never would have thought that I would say this but I'm loving the homeschooling thing. Of course ours is a unique situation given our daughter is part of a co-op three days a week and then does homework I assign her while spending the day with daddy at work the other two days - but I'm pretty much teaching her history/geography, science and Spanish. And then I'm also following up on the Language Arts, reading, math, music and art she gets at the co-op. Lots of work but so much fun! And it is drawing us closer together as well. On top of that, I'm noticing less and less t.v. in our household lately. Gotta love that!

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 11th

2008-11-11T22:13:00.001-08:00

Today I am thankful for:

All the brave men and women who have fought to protect this country that I live in. I may not always agree with everything the US stands for or be happy about the path I see our country walking down - however I am thankful for the freedoms that I do still have and I'm especially thankful to those who have served this country to protect those freedoms. I have many in my family who have been part of this - thank you all!
the mountains of gold and silver (see my previous post for today) - thank you Lord for these mountains and I ask that you enable me to keep my eyes on those instead of the 50 gallon drum!
approval for my new job - today my soon to be new manager forwarded me an email regarding further approvals obtained (VP level) for my transfer to take place on Jan 1st. She just wanted me to be able to see it in writing. I was so excited!!!!

The Drum or the Gold?

2008-11-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

So I'm reading another Ted Dekker book - this one is called When Heaven Weeps. It is part of his The Martyr's Song series. I must say I've yet to read a book of his that is not good. The same underlying theme of God's great love for us is woven into each story, but each story line is unique. Yet he is able to weave many of the stories together. Amazing!

This particular story takes place in the early 1960's and is about one of the character's in the original Martyr's Song book (which took place during the end of WWII). He has now become a famous author due to his writing a book which was published in 1959 called The Dance of the Dead which retells what happened to him in WWII. Throughout the story there are excerpts from his book included. Here are a couple that impacted me.

(Note: Karadzic was a man in the Martyr's Song story who basically personified evil)

"We all have some of Karadzic swimming under the surface. We have all spit on the face of our Creator. Thinking that we have not is self-righteous - which is itself a form of spitting."

Wow! That may sound a bit harsh, but it is so true. I read this last week about the same time I came across the verse in Ephesians 4 again about grieving the Holy Spirit. It just seemed to go together to me.

"If you were to put all of the world's pain in one fifty-gallon drum, it would look silly next to the mountains fo gold and silver found in each moment with God. Our problem is that we rarely see past the drum."

Wow again! I've had moments where I've felt the very presence of God. It is an amazing feeling. During every one of those times I was doing one of three things - praying, worshiping and/or reading God's Word. The times of prayer and worship however, were not always times where I was on my knees before Him. Sometimes it was just going about my normal day to day activities and I would see something that would make me stop at least mentally and praise God for something that caught my attention. I've also started to get into the habit of talking to God in prayer more throughout my day, bringing every little thing to Him. He is a friend who I can confide in throughout the day.

God does want us to spend quiet time with Him, listening for that small still voice. However, He does not want us to leave that spirit of prayer and worship at the door when we walk out into the world each day. Nuturing a thankful heart and making that a normal part of your day to day activities helps to keep that spirit of prayer and worship with us all day long. When we have this attitude our perspective changes. We begin to see things through God's eyes and with His heart. Then when something bad happens to us our reaction will be different. We will start reacting to situations based on His perspective, His Word and not based on our own human understanding. We begin to focus on the moutains of gold and silver instead of on the fifty gallon drum.

So, as you begin your day - ask yourself, which do you choose - the drum or the gold?

Thanksgiving produces Joy: Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 10th

2008-11-10T22:32:00.000-08:00

Below is an excerpt from Chapter 4 (Thanksgiving produces Joy) of the book I'm currently reading Created to be His Helpmeet.

Open your mouth and begin to thank God for his grace towards you. Thank him for every good thing that he has brought into your life. Thank him, thank him and thank him again. Joy is the result of a thankful heart. A thankful heart is the result of a person who decides to give thanks. So say, "Thank you God for. . ."

So that is what I'm doing tonight. I'll share a few of them here, but I'll continue throughout this night until I fall asleep to thank God for all the things he has given me and done in my life.

I'm thankful I have an aunt who loves me enough to recommend this book to me and who gave me her copy to read.
I'm thankful for a husband who shows me everyday in his own little ways how much he loves me.
I'm thankful for three beautiful children who greet me with so much love and enthusiasm each evening when I get home
I'm thankful for a husband who is so committed to my children and what is best for them.
I'm thankful for a husband who is so stubborn that he has not given up on us or our marriage, no matter how ugly and difficult it has been at time over the past 13 years.
I'm thankful for a husband who makes it very clear that he still finds me attractive after 13 years and some extra pounds (I'm not giving that number away!)
I'm thankful that my daughter is a daddy's girl, just like I was growing up and I'm thankful that she has a wonderful loving father. I still remember as soon as we found out that we were having a girl, Shaun stopped on the way home by Babies R Us and bought an outfit that said "Daddy's Girl" for her to wear home from the hospital.
I'm thankful to see how much my boys look up to their father, how much they watch all that he does and try to imitate him.

Grieving the Holy Spirit

2008-11-09T22:38:00.000-08:00

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
~Ephesians 4:29-32

We read this at church last week and one person mentioned how the command to not grieve the Holy Spirit is smack dab in the middle of these verses which deal with how we speak and what we harbor in our hearts toward others. Therefore, when we allow unwholesome talk to proceed from our mouths or let bitterness, rage, anger and so forth, fester in our hearts, we are not only hurting those we are directing these things at, we are grieving the Holy Spirit. We are causing our Lord to grieve.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be the cause of grief for my Lord. I know in reality I already am - every time I sin I grieve Him (which is why I'm so grateful for His mercy and grace). But for scripture to point this out so clearly in these verses makes me think that these are things I should pay careful attention to in my life.

God specifically pointed out these things to me the other night (read Hatred and Bitterness) in regards to two people in particular (at work). This is something that with His Strength I need to address. However, I also need to remember to apply this to those I profess to love the most. Sometimes we treat those we love the most, the worst - we so easily take them for granted.

That is one of my main purposes for this blog, to nuture a thankful heart towards my dear husband, no matter what is going on in our lives. When I let the things in the verses above rule my life and my relationship with my husband it has some very serious consequences which in the past I never dwelt on. Hateful words spoken in anger or frustration (whether "deserved" or not) grieve my husband which in turn harms my marriage. They also grieve my Lord which in turn harms my relationship with Him as well.

In order to ensure I remember this during those times when I find my natural inclination is to lose my patience and lash out at others, I'm going to write these verses down on a few index cards and post them where I will be able to be continually reminded about them (work, bathroom mirror, in my car). We are told to hide God's Words in our heart, I think these words are a good start.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 9th

2008-11-09T22:25:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for, praise God for, rejoice because:

Ephesians 4 - Yep, today I'm thankful for a chapter in scripture. We are going through Ephesians in our house church right now and last week we talked about chapter 4. It seems to be the ball that got things rolling for me this past week. There just seems to be so much in this chapter regarding what God has been teaching me this last week through the elections, the nasty comments on my blog and things going on at work. And then tonight I listened to a guest speaker at the local house of prayer which went right along with all He has been teaching me. It is amazing how God works things together to speak to us. He truly is an Awesome and Almighty Lord!
Warm fuzzy slippers - I'm sitting at home right now in my PJs writing this wearing some nice warm fuzzy slippers which were a Christmas present last year (or maybe it was the year before - I don't quite recall now!) Regardless, warm fuzzy slippers and/or warm fuzzy socks on cold nights like tonight are just - well, cozy!!! ;)
Handy Husband - I grew up with a father who fixed everything around the house. I don't remember ever calling a plumber, electrician or any other type of handy man growing up. My dad took care of all those things. My husband is the same way. We needed a new garbage disposal installed, he took care of it. We wanted hardwood, tile and slate in our house, he did it. A few weeks ago, we realized there was a leak in the half wall between our shower and tub and it was causing mold to grow, he tore out the wall. Now it needs to be rebuilt so we can use the shower in our bathroom again, he'll be the one to build it. I honestly thought all men were this handy until I started talking to some of the people I work with and live around. Seems what I thought was just normal is actually me being extremely blessed!

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 8th

2008-11-08T23:31:00.000-08:00

Wow! Today has been a tough day. Nothing in particular happened, in fact that might be part of the issue. It has been one of those lazy "blah" days and I've been having trouble motivating myself to do anything. And unfortunately, I've taken it out a bit on my husband and kids with a total lack of patience.

So today - I'm thankful for two things:

My family who loves me and is willing to put this behind us and start a new day tomorrow (kids are much better at this than we are!). It does not make it okay, but I'm thankful that they love me when I do have these days.
God's mercy and grace - He is amazing to give us second chances and swift to forgive us when we sin if we are willing to repent.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 7th

2008-11-07T16:47:00.003-08:00

Today I'm thankful for, praise God for, rejoice because:

God really does turn what man means for evil to good for His Name's sake. I have been blasted horribly the last two days for a post I did awhile back. I still stand by that post, however I had to close down the comments on it today. The more looking into the comments I did, the more God started to reveal a few things to me that I'll post on my Ang4him blog later. He really is gracious and in control though!
my wonderful friends over at 1Peter3 who have stood by my with wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement through this. Maybe it should not have surprised me to be attacked as I was, but it did catch me off guard. Thank you all for your wonderful and godly support. Thank you Lord for putting this group in my life, they have been there for me more times than I can remember.
It's Friday!
My hubby washed laundry that needed to be done, has picked up the kids and gotten milk. I just have to pick up the cheese pizza for the kids now! He is so awesome. Of course, now I have to fold the laundry :)
My kids - God's gift to us. Yes, sometimes I want to strangle them but they are just so adorable. The boys this morning were running around with their blankets tucked in their shirts "out to save the day" as the oldest kept screaming as he ran through the house (and then promptly ran into a door b/c he put the "cape" over his head!)

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 6th

2008-11-06T19:29:00.001-08:00

Today I'm thankful for, praise God for, rejoice because:

I had the day off from work
I spent a wonderful day with my daughter. We went by my work and she got to meet some of my friends, including my soon to be new manager. Then we went to the state capital and went on a tour (I'll be posting about this on Ang4him My Life later). Then we went to Starbucks, enjoyed a yummy apple cranberry muffin and had some even yummier drinks. After that we bought her a world map for homeschooling and then spent some time getting books at the library! Overall, an awesome day! I love having mother-dauther time with her!
Tons of traffic on my Ang4him blog - I must admit most of it was related to a post that is almost 3 weeks old and they were not necessary agreeable comments - but I'm thankful that my blog probably received more traffic today than ever before. I know - this one is a bit sad - but I'm looking for the silver lining! :)
New holiday flavors at Starbucks - Basically I am thankful for coffee!!!!
Two Ted Dekker books at the library that I have not read which came home with me today!
Finally, but not least (in fact it is the BEST) - my husband. I'm just thankful that I have him in my life. A few things came up this evening with the boys and as we took care of them I realized how well we work together as a team. I love moments like that!

God's Perfect Gift

2008-11-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

A dear godly woman in my life recently visited here and sent me some very encouraging emails. Below is part of one of those emails, which she has given permission for me to share. I believe this is a message not only for me but for other women as well. I pray it will speak to others as it did to me and healing will come because of it.

My husband and yours are not 'outsiders' in their marriage. They're not some picture we fell in love with and took home, only to find that it clashed with everything else in our home. It's not like they're a piece in the puzzle of our life that we're putting together that doesn't fit. They don't need to have 'the edges knocked off' to fit. They are, at this point and place in time what God meant them to be and they were always meant for us. They are God's gift to us, in more ways than I think we'll ever know in this lifetime.

It's so easy to almost feel like we made a mistake to fall for them, but that God will 'work it out' in spite of our mistake and love for them. No, I believe we 'NEED' them in the plan God has for our life......his plan to help us become EXACTLY what he wants us to be. They were, are and always will be that 'better' part of US......that perfect and precious GIFT straight from God's heart to ours. We would never be who God wants us to be without them to complete us.

Not only that......we complete them. God has a plan for them too....and we have the privilege to be in on that...God gave us to them as a gift....it was not a mistake that they fell in love with us.

God's plan is perfect and so is his timing. He doesn't make mistakes. He gave you and I a 'perfect gift' as a part of GOD'S plan. No mistake, no outsider, not second-best.......GOD'S PERFECT GIFT.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 5th

2008-11-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for, Praise God for, Rejoice because:

the Lord has given me a husband who is perfect for me and I'm perfect for him, even if we don't always recognize it.
for a day off work tomorrow to spend with my daughter (we are going on a tour of the State Capital)
for friends & family who I know love me for who I am and will stand by me through anything.
bubbly warm baths, a good cup of coffee (or cocoa) and a good book - my ideal way to relax and what I'm going to be doing here soon!
for wonderful godly women in my life who are willing to listen to me but are not willing to let me be a "victim", women who are not afraid to tell me like it is and speak God's love into my life.
Prop 8 passed in California - God is teaching me everyday just how sacred and special marriage is - it is a Gift that He gave to us, a special relationship between a man and a woman that is blessed by God and is a reflection of the sacred relationship He wants with us.

The rule of life for wives

2008-11-04T22:29:00.000-08:00

I'm reading Chapter 4 in the Helpmeet book today. Here is a quote that I came across that made me stop and examine how I've been living my life -

This, then, is the rule of life for wives: Live with thanksgiving, forgiveness, and joy, and enjoy all your moments as if they were your last. Someday, soon enough, they will be.

Hmm . . . I can't say that I've lived my marriage this way, let alone my life. How much would my marriage, my children and my life change if I could get this down?

I recently was part of a Bible Study called One Month to Live and this same concept came up, although written a bit diffrently. In the end though it was the same thing. All of my relationships in life whether it be as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend or even with my God - they all change dramatically when I decide to change my perspective and live in this manner.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 4th

2008-11-04T20:04:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for, Praise God for, Rejoice because:

no matter what happens in the elections, I can trust that God is in control. It reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw "I don't know what the future holds, but I know WHO holds the future!"
that my husband is such a wonderful cook. Last night's dinner was absolutely delicious and tasted awesome tonight left-over as well. Yummy!!!!
for rainy days - reminds me of home and keeps me from getting too homesick.
for the opportunity to homeschool my daughter this year, it has been an amazing experience for both of us.

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 3

2008-11-03T23:41:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for, praise God for, Rejoice because:

my daughter is growing closer to the Lord
God has provided me with a new job at work that allows me more time with my family
the Lord is gracious and merciful, He is so patient!
that my dear husband is able to get some good sleep tonight
that the Lord still speaks to us - we just have to slow down and listen
for my beautiful family
for the desire He has put in my heart to grow deeper in my marriage and learn to be my husband's helpmeet
for the joy in the little things, holding Austin's hand, cuddling with Jesse, doing schoolwork with Tyler

Thankful Hearts - My Reasons for this blog

2008-11-03T22:54:00.000-08:00

At the time that I'm starting this blog, I am part of an unequally yoked marriage. In the past I have used this as an excuse for playing the part of the "poor me" wife with a husband who does not understand me or love me the way that he should. I was wrong!

I had expectations for my poor husband that could not even have been lived up to by a man fully committed to following Christ, let alone one who does not have a relationship with Christ. I was focused on who my husband was not instead of focusing on all the wonderful things that he is. Even worse, I was putting myself up as a sort of martyr. It never crossed my mind that I might be failing him as much as I believed he was failing me.

This past year has been really rough on our marriage, but through all of this the Lord has started to show me what love is really all about. He has begun to instill deep within my heart true unconditional love. Along with that He has shown me some pretty ugly things about myself. I'm realizing that while I may have some very good reasons to be offended by my husband and his behavior at times, insisting on standing by these "rights" of mine will only lead to the destruction of my marriage.

For one, I'm not really any better and in some cases I'm worse. I've given my dear husband many reasons to be offended by me. And my hateful attitude towards him because of his behavior (regardless of how much I may be deserving to be upset) will not draw him closer to me or to the Lord.

My prayer in starting this blog is to begin to nuture a thankful heart within myself. I want to be a beautiful "young" bride for my husband who makes him feel respected, admired and loved unconditionally. I want to be lovely in his eyes again. I'm realizing by doing this not only will I win my husband's devotion and love, but I will be honoring the Lord as well.

It seems like everything I have been led to this year has pointed to one thing only, everything is about Love and Relationships -that is all that matters in the end. If we can figure this out, everything else will fall into place. So this blog is my journey to begin to live this out in my life and in my marriage.