Prayer Attitudes - Are my Prayers the Problem?

I'm not sure about others reading this, but my hubby can be a bit moody at times. I joke with him that men get PMS just like women, they just won't admit to it like we do.

He is actually a pretty quiet guy most of the time, which means when things are not good he usually gets even quieter. I've learned that one of my love languages is words of affirmation. This and experiences growing up have resulted in my being very sensitive to the tone of others. I tend to be very aware of someone's tone of voice when they are speaking to me and unfortunately if I am not careful I tend to take it personally - so if someone is not happy I try to "fix" it.

This annoys my hubby to no end. If he is having a bad day he is very quiet. The problem is, if he is upset with me he acts pretty similar. He shuts me out and gives me the silent treatment. So sometimes it is hard for me to tell the difference between him being upset with me and him just having a bad day. I have a tendency to ask him several times if he is okay and if he is upset with me. If he is not upset with me already, he is after my asking that a few times. So I've been trying to work on that.

The past few days he has been a bit "moody" again. We are a bit tight on finances like many and I know that stresses him out. In addition, we had to put our dog down a couple days ago. We've had her for 11 1/2 years and although we knew this was coming it was a bit hard. I think it was even harder on him seeing how our daughter took it. So I think this is all getting him down.

It is hard sometimes when he is like this to know how to act. Do I just give him his space and leave him alone or do I just act cheerful and happy, as if I don't notice that he is pouting and having a snappy tone towards me? Most times it seems like whatever I choose, it is the wrong choice.

I've been trying very hard lately to pray about this. My problem many times is I just don't know how to handle this in the best way. I need wisdom and discernment just to know what to do in these situations (as opposed to times when I know what I should do, I just don't want to do it! But that is a whole other post!)

So last night on my way home I called my hubby to see if he needed me to pick up anything. I knew just from that short conversation that he was in a "mood" again. So I found myself starting to pray on my way home. That is good since in the past my automatic reaction would have been to steam all the way home about how rude he was. By the time I got home I would have worked myself up so that a fight was inevitable. But my first reaction last night was to pray.

"Dear Lord, please give me wisdom and discernment in how to deal with my husband when I get home."

All of a sudden it hit me! I almost put on my brakes in the middle of the freeway without realizing it! Maybe part of the problem is my prayers!? It was like a bolt of lighting from God hit me with understanding. I resumed praying again, but changed one word -

"Dear Lord, please give me wisdom and discernment in how to LOVE my husband when I get home."

God showed me even my attitude while praying is important. Asking Him to show me how to "deal" with my husband was still putting the emphasis on me. I was being selfish - just caring about how I could get through the evening without "losing it". I was feeling sorry for myself and becoming the martyr in the relationship again. Instead I need to focus on how to LOVE my husband. How to show him that no matter what his day has been like, I love him and care for him - and that I will continue to do so no matter what.

Talk about humbling! Everytime I start to think that I have this "good" wife thing down - God sends another bolt of discernment my way - revealing yet another part of my selfishness - which in turn makes me realize even more so how amazing his grace is towards me!

Today's Thankful Heart - Nov 23rd

I've not posted over the past couple days but that does not mean that I'm not thankful! Today I'm posting for a few things from the past days. I am thankful for, praise God for, rejoice because:

• My 4 year old is now begging me to do devotions every day. I've found it is easier for me to engage him one on one, so each night before bed we do the next letter in the alphabet. We'll talk about the things that describe God that begin with that letter. Then we praise God for those things and sing a song. His favorite right now is "Awesome God" and we've added some hand gestures that he loves.

• Days off and good talks - I had Friday off from work again and helped out at our homeschool co-op. I was in the preschool and had a blast. On top of it I had a really good discussion with two other moms. We really connected. One of the things we discussed was love languages and how this can help in raising your children to be strong in their faith. I had started reading the Five Love Languages of Children awhile back and have decided to pick it back up. Just from us talking and sharing I believe my main languages are quality time and words of affirmation. I may need to go get the original book and see if that helps in my marriage too. If I understand my dear husband's love languages better it will be easier to show him how thankful I am for him and to show him the love of Christ.

• Yummy recipes - my husband found a recipe for a layered pumpkin cheesecake that I made last night. It has to be in the refrigerater for a few hours after it is baked so we just tried it today. YUMMY!!! I'm taking some of it to church tonight. The crust is made of gingersnaps. I love gingersnaps!

• Eggnog - seems people either hate or love this stuff. No real in between. I for one, love this time of the year because eggnog makes it's appearance on the shelves again. I was "good" this year and I bought the low fat version and I'm mixing it with milk when I drink it. (My preferred way is the "full" fat version with nothing to dilute it!) However, it may be a bit strange that considering how much I like coffee and eggnog, I really do not like the two mixed!