Love Dare - Love is Not Rude

I've been on this dare for quite awhile now.  This seems to be the hardest to date for me which is kinda sad considering it is only Day 5!  But the truth of it is that I'm scared - I'm scared to carry out this dare, but determined not to skip over it.  So here I am stuck on Day 5. 

Why am I scared?  Well, here is a little excerpt from the Day 5 dare:

King Solomon said it well - "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife" - Proverbs 25:24. Are you unpleasant to be around in your own home? Do you even realize how unpleasant you can be to live with? Test yourself with these questions (be brutally honest):

• How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
• How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem?
• Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

Now, I'm under no illusions as to whether or not I need to improve in this area. I am by no means sitting here reading this thinking "Oh yeah, my husband needs to work on these things!"  Sure, he does but this is about changing me so I love him the way the Lord intended.  It's focus is not on changing him.  And I know that I've failed here.

So here I sit, praying for the courage to step up and do this day's dare.  Praying that when I do I can put aside the defensiveness and hurt that is sure to follow if my beloved gives an honest answer.  A huge part of me does not want an honest answer from him, but deep down I know that an honest answer is what I need.

Here is the Day 5 Dare:
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking him or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Lord,
I ask that you give me courage to find a quiet time to sit down and sincerely ask my husband to give me an honest answer to the above question.  I pray that he'll not feel the need to sugar-coat his answer, that he'll be honest with me so that we an move forward in our marriage.  And Lord, I pray that you'll help me to really hear his answer.  To not beome defensive, to not justify my behavior or attack him with things he does.  This is not about me, this is about improving my marriage and loving my husband.  Help me to humble myself to you and to him, to put aside myself to focus on allowing you to transform me into the wife you desire me to be.  To focus on loving him.  In your preciouse name, Jesus ~Amen!