Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. ~ Proverbs 16:32
This dare has really spoken to me today. This relates to not only my marriage, but my entire family. I want to be less irritable with my husband and my children. I want to do less yelling and more loving of my family, showing them grace and letting God's love flow through me to them.
According to the Love Dare book, there are two contributing reasons to irritability. The first is stress. While I do have this in my life, it is not to the extent that I've had in the past. So you would expect my irritability with my family would have lessened over the past year. But this does not seem to be the case.
The second reason was selfishness. This is usually due to lust (being ungrateful for what you have and burning with desire for things you don't have), bitterness, greed and pride. Ouch! I think this is where my irritability stems from, pride probably being the biggest culprit.
In Matthew 12:34 Jesus says "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." If this is true (and since it is God's words, it is) then what is in my heart is not good.
So, the question is how to change this. I need my heart so filled with God's love that it overflows into all areas of my life. The key is love. As my heart is filled with God's love the selfishness and therefore the irritability will fade from my life.
Recently I came across a suggestion to find 40 verses in the Bible about anger. To write them down and then read them at least 2 times a day aloud for 40 days. By the end of that time the verses would begin to be written on your heart and at times when irritability begins to rise you will be able to use these verses. I really like this idea and have begun a search for my 40 verses.
However, last night as I thought on this more I realized that while these verses are the Words of God and therefore, full of power, they would only help to keep down the irritability and anger in my heart. They would in a way just be a mask or a reactive solution to the root cause. Memorizing these verses are definitely good, but I felt there needed to be more.
I need to fill my heart with God's love so there is no room for the selfishness that breeds irritability and anger instead of just learning how to fight these emotions/reactions. How do I do this?
It came to me that this is why I've been studying David and his heart for God. The way to fill my heart with God's love is to pursue His heart and His emotions. To understand His love for me. So I decided in addition, to these 40 verses dealing with anger, I'm going to search Scriptures for 40 verses regarding God's unfailing and passionate love for me and I will read those 2 times a day as well.
I believe if I begin to start and end my days with verses about how much the Lord loves me even in my weakest moments, this may finally really sink into my mind and heart. At that point I won't be able to help but return the same love to the Lord. As His love fills my heart and life I will find more patience and peace with my family - those I love the most.
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